You need to set the property value in the custom control. Regular .NET controls have default values for their properties, but that still has to be explicitly set in the code somewhere. If you set it properly in the the definition of the control, then every time you add the control to your form, you will get that value "automatically."
Let's say your class iscalled myControl, and the property is myProperty, a boolean.
You should have a Private variable that holds the myProperty value -- let's call it myPropertyValue.
Now, when you Get() myProperty, you return myPropertyValue.
When you Set() myProperty, you set myPropertyValue == value
If you have never Set() myProperty, then when you Get() it (which includes when the control is initialized), it is going to return False.
So, when you first declare that class variable, myPropertyValue, you can assign it a value of True.
Now, unless you change it explicitly by Set(), myProperty will return True by default every time.
Build it, drag it from the ToolBox onto your form, and myProperty will be True.
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If you are creating a custom AutoScaleMode property for your control (not DataGridView, but your control that derives from it), then when you set the AutoScaleMode value, you have to apply it to an instance of your control, not an instance of DataGridView.